GobblerNY’s Cheap Eats Guide, Mid-November Edition

1. Shingly’s Roti

Don’t miss the Sunday lunch buffet. All you can eat, and only for $3!

2. Fufu’s Nigerian

Move over, Shingly – at Fufu’s you can eat a 12 course meal for 80 cents.

3. Leftovers

Some of the best value in the five boroughs, and you know it’s good because you had it twelve hours ago.

4. Your lunch, for dinner

The ultimate cheap thrill. Split that cheap lunch into a cheaper lunch and an even cheaper dinner, you fiend. Then pocket the money you’ve saved and rock up to Shingly’s like you own the place!

5. Home

It’s where the heart is. Also, everything’s free, so go nuts.

6. Cousin’s house

Like home, but different. You could make an entire meal on the living room bowl of Cheese Doodles, but save room for the bottomless brunch, and by bottomless brunch we mean enough whitefish salad to put you in hospital. Pure protein, baby.

7. Work function

This is a can’t-miss stop on the Cheap Eats train. When Mark pretends to care that “you don’t even have a drink, dude,” push his face out of the way and steamroll over Wendy from accounting and her dumb husband Jeff — your dinner isn’t going to order itself. Make some small talk with the waiter to create an illusion of calm, then order every dish on the menu and hide in the bathroom. Not because you did anything wrong — it’s a work function for chrissakes! No… you hide in the bathroom because you just nailed this work function, and the excitement of waiting for your cheap eats in public would probably kill you.

8. Fasting

The cheapest eat of all is the one you aren’t having. Besides, if supermodels and the Orthodox are doing it, it’s got to be pretty frickin’ wise. Take this cheap eat to its logical extreme and let nature work its magic — we guarantee you’ll see the results around your waistline AND your bottom line. After all, as Mark Twain once quipped, to live the frugal life is to save a penny, but to die trying is actually way cheaper. (And don’t tell anyone, but the Fufu’s in heaven is half-priced on Tuesdays!)