Top 5 Patisseries In Which To Update Your LinkedIn Profile

1. Chocolat Chaud

Sick new promotion? Better update your LinkedIn profile, and there’s no better place to do it than at a two-top in the back of Chocolat Chaud. Garçon!

2. Patisserie Adrien

Em… how do you say, em…dope career move? Get ready to manhandle an eclair while you freshen up that sweet, sweet LinkedIn profile. (Only open to LinkedIn Premium users)

3. Lèvre Lêche

Hey businessman, have a millefeuille. The literal Dauphin of Viennois wants that job just as bad as you do so you better be out there making dummy accounts to endorse yourself for Excel. While you’re at it, add a straight up lie to your résumé. It’s a French word after all.

4. Au Coin

This is the corner patisserie that hopes it finds you well. But don’t be mistaken: anyone who walks in the door of Au Coin is your competitor, and right now they’re crushing you with their smokin’ hot third quarter profits and their fully up-to-date LinkedIn profiles. Better order a Napoleon with a CV attached as both a PDF and a Word.docx, because you are JOKING YOURSELF IF YOU THINK YOU’RE GETTING THAT JOB WITH ONLY ONE RESUMÉ ATTACHMENT.

5. Boulanger Des Arts

Networking isn’t networking unless you’re doing it on a MacBook Pro, by yourself, at a window seat in Boulanger Des Arts. Let’s level with each other: you were born for this moment. Pop in your collar stays and jam your little piggies into the pointiest leather shoes you can find, because this is your time to shine, and by shine we mean rub croissant grease into your keyboard while adding your high school diploma to your LinkedIn profile, because that’ll really change things, Gregg. Le cheque, s’il vous plait!