Developing Story: 3-Day Old Package of Trader Joe’s “Soft & Juicy” Mango Still Tastes Pretty Fresh but Maybe Starting to Go

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12/15/19, 3:45pm: Had a midday piece of Trader Joe’s “Soft & Juicy” Mango. Started this bag three days ago and it’s still tasting good. Score!  

12/15/19, 9:08pm: Went back for another slab of S&J. Huge sigh of relief to feel it’s still soft, but was light on the juice. A little worrying, but I think it may have just been that piece. Stay tuned.

12/16/19, 1:37am: Woke up to check on my mango. A quick bag-feel reveals the slices are still soft thank god. 

12/16/19, 9:01am: Wasn’t planning on eating any mango this morning, but since I’m worried it’s about to straight up calcify in the bag at any moment, I had a slice. It was a little too big. Feeling ill. 

12/16/19, 2:00pm: Feeling the race against time, took my “Soft & Juicy” to the office. Offered it up to coworkers who all respectfully declined. I think they could tell just by looking that the bag wasn’t fresh. The problem with working at a startup is that everyone here has a lot of experience with Trader Joe’s “Soft & Juicy” Mango. 

12/16/19, 7:24pm: Had a mango slice after dinner even though I had already had dessert and was full. When juicy is long gone and you’re clinging to these last moments of soft, you do what you have to do. Five slices left. 

12/16/19, 10:02pm: Watching Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. It really warms the heart! A great distraction from the fact that I have a piece of unchewable dried mango stuck in my throat. Four slices left. 

12/17/19, 3:02am: Lying awake in bed. I’ve got a lot on my mind, including the status of my Soft & Juicy Mango. 

12/17/19, 3:05am: Got out of bed and am in the kitchen staring down my S&J. Already, I know this is not going to go well. But still, I choke down a desiccated slab of hard and dry Soft & Juicy. I think wistfully about the softness and juiciness it once had. The passage of time makes me consider my own mortality and the vastness of space. Think I pulled a jaw muscle. 

12/18/19, 6:10pm: The cycle continues. Bought a new bag of Soft & Juicy with three slices remaining in my old bag. EVERY TIME!!!