Top Five Tex-Mex Spots If You, Like Us, Think Barack Obama Was Born In Kenya

Steve Bannon is our Tex-Mex correspondent.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Due to some bureaucratic loopholes in the GobblerNY credo, we’re contractually obligated to let Steve weigh in twice a month on New York’s Tex-Mex dining scene. This one is way worse than we’d anticipated, but our hands are tied. Buckle up.

1. Obama Did 9/11 Authentic Tex-Mex Cuisine

This one is a no-brainer. Could it be more obvious that Obama did 9/11 Authentic Tex-Mex Cuisine was going to be #1 on our list? Their tacos are the best around, and they’ve got the proof to back it up. Obama? More like Osama.

2. Iguana y Sano y Obama Is From Kenya

The birther movement is alive and well at Iguana y Sano! Tickle yourselves Hussein as you eat tomatillos wrapped in birth certificates and tostadas baked on air-fried copies of Breitbart. Let’s hope you’re natural born, because this hole-in-the-wall is on the fringe! 

3. Clinton’s Emails Taqueria 

Moctezuma’s revenge? More like Hillary Clinton’s emails! Everyone at this restaurant gets their own waiter, or shall I say, a private server. Enter a 48-hour whirlwind of carnes, fajoles, chilequitas that will leave you asking “what happened?” The next day you’ll be locked up in the bathroom long enough to start a podcast, but it’ll all be worth it for the sweet sweet flavor of Clinton’s Emails Taqueria, conveniently located near Chelsea. 

4. DVD of Coming to America

Eddie Murphy’s comedy classic based on the true story of Barack Obama’s violent coup of the United States presidency serves as the perfect backdrop for a Tex-Mex meal. Order in and watch it at home. Rudy Giuliani, Trump’s attorney and deputy editor of GobblerNY.com, says “it’s my favorite way to spend an evening.” 

5. También explotó el Hindenburg

The ONLY Tex-Mex/German fusion restaurant claiming that Obama used Kenyan voodoo to time travel back to 1937 to pop the blimp with a Maasai blow dart. With barbacoa on the grill and “some great literature in their car” (as the waiters like to say), this is a one of a kind experience that will surely bring you into the fold. Not to be missed! 

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